When was the last time you received genuine appreciation or gratitude from your boss or your partner? If you had to furrow your brows, take a few breaths and try to remember...you are not alone. We all have been there.
When I left my traditional medical job in Arizona, the CEO of the hospital thanked me for all the work I had done for patients with epilepsy including the children. I began to cry, and the CEO started to shift in his seat uncomfortably while searching for a box of tissues. I expressed to him that in over ten years in the traditional medical system, I had never had a boss, supervisor, or hospital administration express gratitude. They were tears of joy as much as tears of shock.
When I work with corporate clients who are dealing with job-related stress as their biggest problem, I hear the same story. It is common for them to state that they would forgo a pay raise or bonus during troubled economic times in lieu of simple and genuine gratitude from their superiors.
Do you ever get stuck in what I call a "Romie-Brain-Freeze?" I know this just not an occupational hazard of being a neurologist because most of the high functioning clients who work with me individually face the same challenge. What are symptoms of the "Romie-Brain-Freeze"?
No matter how much we try to plan, analyze, and control a situation- nothing turns out as we envisioned. It leaves us feeling frozen in our lives, our choices, and our emotion. Living in Orlando, it's impossible not to imagine hearing "Let It Go" cue up at the thought of the word "frozen". "Let it go", how appropriate for today's Mindful Monday lesson. At some point when we let go; whether out of defeat, sheer exhaustion or Grace- that magic moment happens. What is that magic moment? The exhale of relief where we realize that all events have unfolded as they were meant to happen.
What does it mean to "go with the flow?"
The yoga teacher in me understands how living life "in the flow" feels. It is that place in the asana practice where breath is gently guiding the body from one movement to another with ease. Can we really live life in this manner? And if so, how?
To "go with the flow and just let go" is not being lazy, disinterested, or disengaged. Far from it. To let go is to give your best effort, but not attach your happiness to the outcome. Rather be at peace with the outcome knowing that success can be yours without feeling like you have to fight an uphill batter.
"Those who flow as life flows know that they need no other force." Lao Tzu
How do I know if I am in the flow or struggling?
Are you holding your breath? Do you feel fatigued, tired or stressed? You are not in the flow, in your zone, or in a state of peak performance. When you are "in the flow" everything is happening with emotional and physical ease. In a yoga pose, if something hurts, we say back out of the pose. In life, if something hurts, back out of the circumstance until you feel ease.
"You do not need to stress or stain to make things happen. If you try to control outcomes, you will miss what the Universe sends your way." James Van Praag
What are practical steps to just "go with the flow"?
1. Give up trying to control others or the situation. Leaders guide and inspire others to greatness. Managers try to micromanage the details.
2. If you feel uncomfortable, pain, or stress- back away from the situation physically and emotionally. Do what it takes to calm yourself down.
3. Ask for another neutral perspective. My dear friend Christine and I laugh at ourselves almost daily. We can easily give each other business advice, but have a difficult time giving ourselves that same advice. There is a reason it is easier to give someone else advice; you are not emotionally attached to their situation. If you don't have a loving Christine in your life at this moment, ask yourself what advice would you give your best friend in the same situation?
I will hold an intention that as we all start our work-weeks today, we easily find that state of flow.
Breathe and give your mind permission just to go with the flow.
Dr. RomieRead More
A Prayer of Compassion for Childless Women on Mother's Day
To all the women of our global mindful living community, Happy Mother's Day. I hold a special prayer of compassion for women whose life led them down a different path. We face Mother's Day with judgement from others and worst of all ourselves. When judgement is present, whether it arises from self or others, darkness replaces the light of love in our hearts.
Let us heal with a prayer that compassion replaces the judgement in our hearts.
- Let us share a prayer of compassion for the women who decided not to have children, yet must face difficult questions daily about why they chose not to have babies.
- Let us share a prayer of compassion for the women who tried to have children, but lost hope to repeated miscarriages.
- Let us share a prayer of compassion for the women tried to have children but were disappointed with failed infertility treatments.
- Let us share a prayer of compassion for women who wanted to have children after marriage, but life still has them searching for a soulmate.
- Let us share a prayer of compassion for women who nurtured demanding and successful careers only to find that the time to have children has passed.
- Let us share a prayer of compassion for women who have given birth to children, but have lost them to illness, accidents, war, famine, or other unforeseen circumstances. Know that your children are angels watching over you from Heaven.
- Let us share a prayer of compassion for all the women who get up to face Mother's Day with judgement, sadness, or loneliness instead of love.
When we release judgement, we open our hearts to love.
Let us share a prayer of compassion to all the women who woke up without someone to say Happy Mother's Day to them today.
For you, I pray that you realize that you are loved.
With love and a prayer of compassion,
This week, let our #MindfulMonday mantra be: “I welcome peaceful sleep”
Sleep, bringing up this issue is throwing a stink bomb in the room. We all have been there: disturbed sleep, lack of sleep, can’t fall asleep, can’t stay asleep, don’t even want to think about sleep. Breathe. This week let’s take a step to welcome peaceful sleep back into your life. The causes of insomnia seem infinite, and it may warrant a thorough medical examination.
As a mind-body medicine physician and neurologist I cannot ignore the importance of the mind-body connection in sleeping. The first sign of a stressed out nervous system is disturbed sleep, and we all have been there…more than once.Read More
Do you just wish you could escape from your desk today?
I was in the middle of morning clients and was literally having difficulty breathing. Over the last two weeks, I have been battling chemical pneumonitis- inflammation in the lungs from getting exposed to chemicals. How ironic right? My TEDx talk teaches the powerful secret of our breath, but somehow I lost the ability to breathe.